Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Day 60- Lack of Willpower Dooms Me

I'm making a seitan log right now. It's sitting in the steamer, squishy like boiled bread, or brains. I'll get back to that in a minute. First-

I started out the day full of good intentions. I was going to make breakfast, and lunch, and do any manner of great food things. Didn't happen. I grabbed a bag of chips on my way out job hunting. Ungood.

I compounded that Fail by (instead of just cooking something) getting more chips (and salsa) for "dinner". I didn't even realize I'd done it until I was eating them. At least the chips contain only corn, oil, and salt. Not great for cardiovascular health, but better than mystery preservatives.

My dedication to the New Shiny Thing is unswerving. I need to make it swerve.

Heck, if I can't stick to a budget or "diet", how can I ever expect to manage a *really* long term relationship. You know, like more than 6 months.

So I mixed up some wheat-meat, and it's sitting in the steamer basket of my rice cooker. I've no idea what it's going to taste like, so I won't share the "recipe" until I know if it's even edible. I still need to bake the log/ loaf/ tube of "meat" for optimal texture.

Today is the two month mark. I keep saying no more cheating. I keep cheating. I have veggies and fruit, and who knows what else going bad in my fridge, because I keep eating chips (that make me feel sick, slow, and tired) instead of just making something. But I don't.

My life is about to get a whole lot busier, so I need to get organized and set now. I suspect most of my cheating has more to do with unemployed-person blahs then anything else. Now if only I had a snuggy for my unemployment suit. Or, you know, a (decent) job.

Okay, enough self-pitying crap for now. I want to use the fake-meat to make at least one reuben sammich. I have the saurkraut (some of it, anyway), the seitan will sub for pastrami, I'll use mustard instead of 1k island, but... Without rye bread or swiss cheese, I'm not sure I can call it a reuben.

I can let the dough sour for a while for more flavorful bread, but I've no idea how to fake out the cheese. Do I really need it? Anything (that i can make at home with what i already have) that can sub?


  1. I don't think I would miss the cheese on a reuben. I'm always so focused on the other bold flavors, cheese kinda gets lost. And I'm a super cheese person. Of course, I've always had the real McCoy, so....
    I don't even know what seitan is. :) I'm about to google it, though.
    Don't feel so bad about cheating. I think we all know when we don't want to buy/eat something for whatever reason, it becomes that much more appealing.

  2. Awhile back you were asking how to help an overweight friend and I think if you ever figure out why you are cheating with chips, you may understand your friend's problems better. I like your blog because even though I am not a veg, I struggle with the same things you are struggling with and I have wt. issues too! My motivation sucks most days (and I have a job) My food choices are often bad too and I consider myself lazy too. (We shouldn't give ourselves such bad self talk, so why do we do it?) I also watch the Biggest Loser and they are always talking about mental 'breakthroughs.' I sure hope I have one soon, maybe then I will know the reason for my motivational issues. In the meantime, if you have a 'breakthrough,' please share it with us. We're all in this thing called life together.

  3. @Alyse- I'm just not sure about swapping *3* things. Maybe I'll just call it something different...

    @Cyndee- I see how my chip addiction looks similar, and to a degree it is. But (to rephrase away from food entirely) it's like if my friend and I need sensible work shoes, and go to the store with $75 cash each- only to find the *perfect* party shoes for $65.

    I get the party shoes and live with no work shoes. She whips out her CC and gets work shoes, party shoes, and a purse. It's fine to blow the budget when you can afford to, but eventually the ins and outs have to balance-- in anything.

    Re: breakthroughs- I need to work with my laziness. I know batching food prep will make me more likely to eat what I've already got. I just need to work on motivation and avoiding distractions...

  4. Even though you aren't dieting, per se, you are probably experiencing the same thing dieters go through: the effects of deprivation. Using willpower to muscle through cravings seems to offer one helluva backlash. Sadly, I don't know how to fix that other than to say deprivation and greater restriction (combined with anger and disgust towards oneself) is NOT the answer!