Happy (late) Thanksgiving!

This year Thanksgiving was kind of a non-event. I wrote a story, hit a bakery, and had a bottle of wine.

Of course, back home, Thanksgiving is a great chance to stock up on all kinds of food for cheap. Healthy food, even. In South Carolina sweet potatoes go on sale for tiny amounts--like 15 cent per pound. And baking goods are all on sale--everything from flour and butter to baking powder, spices, and "pie filling".

Which means it's a great time to be on a budget.

Sounds crazy, right? Not really. If you eat meat, you can pick up a turkey, otherwise, you can load up on all the other "holiday" food items, and eat like a healthy-eating rich person for a couple weeks. With sweet potatoes alone you can make:

• baked sweet potatoes
• sweet potato fries
• mashed sweet potatoes
• sweet potato pie
• sweet potato gnocchi
• sweet potato ravioli
• sweet potato pancakes
• sweet potato pirogi
• roasted sweet potatoes

Easy and cheap, right? They might each take a couple other ingredients, but most of them are simple and cheap to put together. Some are even fast. The others pretty much all freeze well.

That leaves out all the other Autumn veggies, like squash, carrots, Brussels sprouts, beets (yum), fresh garlic, and on and on. And all on sale--either last week, or for the next couple weeks.

And all I got was a cheap bottle of very young wine. Oh well, it was fun and that's what matters, right? Or something.

In A Food Rut

It's pretty easy, when you're cooking for yourself and on a budget, to get stuck in a rut. And am I ever stuck. Other than my ever-more-frequent trips to the supermarket for chips and chocolate, I've been eating the same two or three things for a couple months now.

Last year I got stuck on fried rice. It's fast(-ish), healthy(-ish), and easy once you get used to cooking it. Now I seem to have taken a giant step down even from that.

It's all cinnamon pancakes (though not for the last couple weeks), pasta with tomatoes, onion, and American cheese, or rice with beans, tomatoes, onion and American cheese. That's it. The only real variety comes from the every once-in-a-while splurge of food out, or the two days last week when I managed to scarf down half a dozen bagels. With, of course, American cheese melted on top.

Hopefully, moving on will change my diet again. Getting out of Guatemala should do that as well. If I were a fruit-eating kinda girl this would be a great place.

Because of the elevation and lower temps, strawberries are in season pretty much all year here. And there are these red things that look kinda like lychees, but I don't think are. And papaya, and starfruit (2 for 1Q, or about 8 US cents *each*). And pineapple.

You know, back home I could never figure out why anyone would want to eat a pineapple. I mean, they're cardboardy and crunchy in a bad way, and stringy, and rarely sweet back home. Or they come from a can and are oddly floppy.

But the ones I've had here have been sweet, and so ripe they dripped juice when cut into, or even when pressed on too hard. Actually pretty tasty. I still won't be buying many of them.

The thing is, I know I can make that rice-or-pasta and veggies and cheese thing. I can do it in my sleep, I'm so used to it. And you can get the stuff to make it pretty much anywhere, they aren't harmed by the odd blackout, and all but the cheese can be locked safely in my locker.

Other stuff... I might not be able to find it, so I don't even try anymore.

So, have you been in a food rut, and how did you get out of it. Or... Are you still stuck there?

Weight Gain Fail

After stuffing myself for a week straight, I figured I would have gained something.

And if I were willing to ignore the bit where last time I was in flip flops (total weight maybe 8oz) and this time in "real" shoes at over a pound each, I totally gained.

Except... 125.7 really isn't a gain over 124.3 when I take off the extra 1.5lbs.

I think I need to add more avocados to my diet. It might just be time to hit the market. I've got q8 for stuff, I can totally stuff my face.

Cheese is sliding slowly off the list of things I want to eat. I'm getting sick of it. I might have to start buying nuts. they're pretty calorie dense and they taste good, too. I foresee a sudden doubling of my food budget. And only part of that will end up going to soda.

Pleh.

And Today I choked down...

2 choco-almond muffins (~250 cal)
2 regular muffins(~150 cal)
250g pasta (dry weight, about 9oz) with
Oil, tomato, onion, garlic, salt, and 4 slices/about 2oz of cheese (~1400 cal total)
3 cans diet pepsi.
Medium bag of chips (~480)

I am now so stuffed I don't think I could eat another thing. For those wondering, the pasta fills two good sized bowls.

For an approximate daily total of 2280 calories. Which is about 700 less than I was trying for, but I think if I stuff one more thing in my mouth I'll explode.

This is much easier with coconut milk based ice cream at 2000 calories a pint. I want my chips and dip.

Ok, to be totally honest, I want to be able to fuel my body like you fuel a car. Just fill it up and go. The whole cooking, eating, digesting, cleaning up, rolling around stuffed thing is no fun at all. Plus, the stuff I'm eating is boring. Pleh.

The All-Singing All-Dancing Food Extravaganza Day... Wednesday

This "eat until you can't stuff anything else in your face" thing is getting old fast. Because of the huge amounts I'm scarfing down (remember, most of my food is high bulk for high calories) I have a distended abdomen. Not as bad as those "feed the spawnlings" pictures. No, more "after a hard night chugging beer/scarfing pizza", which also looks (to me, anyway) like a pregnant lady gut.

Not on my personal list of preferred looks, but whatever. The whole force-feeding thing is going to last maybe two more days before I just go back to eating when I'm hungry. Eating when you aren't hungry, and to the point where you feel so stuffed you physically ache isn't good for you, ya know.

Yesterday I cooked up 2/3C of dry rice, added 1 onion (fried in oil, lots of oil), some garlic, a couple tomatoes, and something like 2 slices of cheese. Oh, and a cup +/- of black beans. Wanted to add Avocado, but it was frozen solid. Don't ask.

Then I made up a vat of fried potatoes with more onion, oil, garlic and a packet of curry powder. And the previously frozen half an avocado for extra yum/ calories.

Then, at about midnight, I made a sammich with the other half of the bread. Melted the last couple tablespoons of butter into it (tastes kinda like Texas Toast, you know, all sweet and odd and stuff), spread it with mustard, covered it in the other avocado, sliced a lot, about 1/3 of an onion, the last piece of sliced cheese, salt, pepper, and juice from part of a lime. "snacked" my way through it for dinner.

Oh, and three cans of Diet Pepsi, about half a liter of water, and that's it.

Good news is, I'm pretty sure I've already gained some weight.

Bad news is, I'm pretty sure it's all in my intestines, and once I stop doing the forced locust impersonation it'll all go away again. Oh well.

Re-feeding Experiment Continues

I figure I told you what I ate in San Pedro La Laguna, I might as well tell you the rest of my super-stuff-my-face Antigua Food Extravaganza.

Hit the grocery store (hungry) and got veggies (kinda), garlic, 6 cans of soda, a bag of pasta and a couple random other things (I think...) for 60Q--1/3rd of that was soda. And 12Q for a pair of imported Avocados. I'm going to the *real* market next time... Sooo much cheaper.

Then over to the bakery where I picked up about a yard of bread (strangely sweet but still good) and two choco muffins (total Q9.50)

Then soaked tomatoes and potatoes, and scarfed down a huge sammich.

I used half the bread, quarter of the stick of butter, some oil, and onion, a small tomato, half an avocado, mustard (the icky yellow stuff, wasn't paying 40Q for Dijon), a couple cloves of garlic, and three slices of cheese.

Oh, plus juice from half a lime, salt, pepper. I think that was it.

Then I nommed it. Followed by one of the choco muffins. And then the other, and a nap.

Then got dragged out, where I had a rum and coke and bowl of popcorn.

And for dinner, oodles (250g bag) of pasta w. onions, tomatoes, garlic, cheese, oil, etc. And another can of soda. Now I'm stuffed and it's bedtime. All this eating is tough work.

Food Exhaustion In Guatemala

When I think of food, I think of many things. Not usually eating the same thing every single day.

When I think of Mexico, the US, or even the rather odd grocery stores of NZ, I see, in my little -j. head, an insane variety of foods.

When I step into the supermarket or open-air market here in Guatemala, though, I don't see any such thing.

If I'm lucky, I see a bunch of packaged food (made with beef fat, yum). Then I cruise past some staples (flour, corn, cornmeal, corn tortillas, corn tortilla mix, oil). And the deli counter. And on (in the supermarket, anyway--in the open-air market I have to cruise past a variety of strange animals in various stages of life/death first) to the veggies.

Right now, in Guatemala, the veggies, the ones that aren't refrigerated, anyway, are tomatoes, potatoes (imported and "nacional"), avocados from Mexico, white onions, garlic imported from China, the odd squash, a couple large but sad looking cabbages, and papaya or banana for fruit.

Oh, and an odd purple/green leafy herb thing. Epazote, maybe? Dunno. Plus a couple sad looking jalapenos.

In the cooler there are some summer squish, unripe tomatoes, greenbeans, corn (cheaper by the basket-load in the *real* market), and a couple other things.

And that's it for veggies. There's some bread, a bunch of (really bad) wine, pasta, mac and cheese, and cleaning products. I think that pretty much finishes off the store.

Oh, sorry, and a couple random spice racks with different brands of spices, a bunch of small fridges with dairy products in them, and those wire rolling basket thingies (big ones like they sell pillows out of back home) full of sugar and rice and beans in bags.

And that's the grocery store. The market is about a dozen times more crazy, more likely to get pick-pocketed, and half the cost. But the same selection.

So since leaving Lake Atitlan for Antigua, I've eaten potatoes. And pasta. And pizza made with refried beans instead of pasta sauce. And the odd bit of processed cheese. And pancakes.

For flavor and nutrition I've had beans, garlic, onion, tomato and oil.

You want to know 12 shiny new ways to use flour, onion, tomato, oil, salt, sugar, and beans? Give me a day, I'll write them down. But I'm running out of ideas. I actually bought *dried* black beans today, I'm so sick of what I've been eating.

I dream in magical piles of food. Food my stomach misses. Food like pickles and saurkraut. Food like cheesey mashed potatoes. Food like basil and olives and vinegar.

And Brussles sprouts. And vegan mayo. And taco seasoning. And vegetables that aren't tomato, onion, or potato.

And, while in the peak of mango season I thought I could never eat another, now that mango season seems to be over, I'd kill for one of those tasty little monsters. Not the big round-ish green ones, no, the "sunrise" or "strawberry" types. Smaller, with softer sweeter flesh. Less grainy, not as stringy. Made of forking magic.

Looks like I'll be making a run to Mexico anyway, huh?

Food Pyramid? Food Plate Guide? Magic Food Bowl-Thing?

I know this is old news, but I only just managed to wander over to the USDA site and see what they wanted me to eat and how.

Back forever ago (like, last month, give or take a couple weeks) there was the food pyramid. You ate the stuff on it, or tried to, or pretended to, though most peoples ended up looking like some kinda deformed hourglass-piles of "grain" and "meat", no veggies or fruit, and a top seriously over-packed with sugar and oil and salt (and whatever else they tossed up there that tastes good and is totally bad for you). Me, too--snacks are better than fruit!

So now they've got this new "plate" plan. Which looks like, s'prize! A plate. With a cup.

Which, if you eat a normal omni-kinda diet, or in an American diet kinda way, probably works. I like that they've changed "meat" to "protein", but they still call the calcium part of the meal "dairy" which is silly--calcium comes from places other than animals (like tofu and collard greens, yum).

It works for the SAD because each "type" of food gets a spot on the plate. Like those sectioned plates I like eating off of, each type of food has an area with an amount of space in it to fill. Fruit and veg gets half, with veg taking up about 2/3's of the side. Protein and grain gets the other half, with grains taking up the bigger chunk there. And "dairy", of course, off to the side.

When dinner is steak, potato, broccoli, and sliced tomatoes with baked spiced apples for desert, that works great. (Let me know if you can't figure out how to bake spicy apples--it's freakishly easy, only the timing really matters...)

When dinner is pizza, it gets a bit tougher. And if dinner is a tasty bowl of yumminess? Who knows how you're supposed to judge then. Don't even try to figure it out if your meal contains both calcium-rich veggies and beans (both fit in at least 2 categories).

So I thought I'd draw my own food map. Or two. I know not everyone prefers to eat out of a bowl.

The protein is probably a bit small, I admit. But the bowl shows about how I eat. When I'm stuffing my face on healthy stuff, I pretty much follow this--anyone who's followed along as I scarfed down bowl after bowl of fried rice should recognise the approximate design there. I just pile it all in, mix it up, and eat. Works best with things that should be eaten together, by the way--like pasta with super-veggie sauce and some pan-seared tofu.

Not so good for stuff that wants to stay separate--steak, mashed potatoes, gravy, and salad would look gross served this way. Stirfry? Tastiness.

For those of you who eat more "normal" food. If you played with this, it's probably a bit more than half veggies. Then some grain and "extras" and protein tacked on there in the bottom. The only time I really eat anything that would be broken down like this is if I'm eating left-overs, at a restaurant, or hard-core craving food that doesn't "bowl" well. Like sammiches. Oh, or if I have to eat with other people who think it's odd to fill a serving bowl with a day's worth of food and just re-heat as needed.

Now, I admit, this is in no way scientific. And it looks really nothing like their plate. But it works for me.

Also, I played around with the "meal plan" generator. It's... interesting. I'm underweight (BMI-wise, kinda) and a slug, so it gave me a choice of "maintain weight" or "slowly gain weight"--1800 or 2200 kcals a day.

Um... I'm averaging about 1900 a day right now and (pretty totally sedentary) I'm losing about a pound a month at this point. I think... Could be more. They didn't have an option for me to lose weight though. Looking at the suggestions (6oz protein, 7oz grain, 3c veg, 1.5-ish fruit) I can *see* that it's not enough. Sure, I'd feel full. 3 cups of veggies will do that to a girl. And I think that was the 2200 calorie choice. It's really not a lot of food. Actually, I'm not sure where they're getting their numbers from--7oz grain is 700cals, 6oz protein is maybe another 700, veggies are mostly calorie free... Was it all coming from dairy and fruit? That's crazy.

Anyway, just like the BSC food pyramid, I think the new plate system is screwed up. But maybe it'll help people who think a burger and fries is a balanced meal.

Nah, those people are lost forever.

Magic Leftover Concoctions

I'm getting ready to leave the Mystery Island. Actually, I'm leaving in about two hours. So yesterday a shiny new friend and I worked our way through the leftovers. You know, those bits and pieces that you didn't quite manage to finish before the end of your vacation, or the stuff sitting in the back of the fridge when you don't want to shop.

Between the two of us we had a rather interesting collection of stuff. We talked about making tacos, but with only 5 (small) tortillas and a bunch of stuff to put in/ on them it just wasn't going to work. Luckily, though, we had (most of) a couple bags of tortilla chips, close to a pound of queso oaxaca, some veggies and the dregs of a jar of salsa. Nachos, right? And black beans, extra cheese, and warm tortillas on the side.

No microwave, though.

See, this is where travel makes things interesting. Cooking in Mexico is done on gas. Electric is just too expensive, so everyone uses gas ranges and whatnot. But they use bottled gas, which can run out, so no constant pilot light. Which means you have to light the stove every time you use it. And the oven as well, oddly enough....

So we put together our nachos, all ready to melt in the oven. Then we realized we didn't know how to *light* the oven. The little switch that would spark and light the gas (if the stove were plugged in...) didn't do anything. So we pulled out the long, empty lighter-gun-thing and tried to light the gas with that. Empty, because you don't need the flame, just the spark. It didn't work, though.

So I went down and asked. And got laughed at. And went back to the kitchen and tried again. Turns out I was trying to light the wrong part of the "flame making tube thing". Oops. So anyway, yeah.

Then there was dinner. About 4 weeks ago I picked up a bottle of wine. A bottle of *bad* wine. No, like really, really bad. It tasted worse the more you ate... So I put it in pasta. I had some sauce left. My cooking partner had pasta, and we both had some veggies left. We picked up a can of beans, some soda and a loaf of fresh bread.

The lady at the "grocery store" laughs at us, btw, 'cause we're in there at least twice a day each. It took two trips to get beans and soda. In twenty minutes.

Anyway, everything (except the lentils, which have been donated...) went in the pot while the pasta cooked. It was actually pretty good. If I can remember what exactly we really used, I'll put it up. It just looked like strange chili, actually, but it was tasty.

I guess the whole point here is that you can make *something* with what you've got, if you've got something to begin with. It might not always turn out perfect, it might not taste great. It'll feed you, though, and keep you from a third trip to the store.

New Site


I'm trying to keep the stuff here food related. I don't know how well cheap traveler food helps anyone, but I like having a place with mostly food. So I'm starting a new blog (slowly) elsewhere.

It's got a photo or three, and a post or two, and I'm trying working on making it pretty and useful. If you're interested in travel/ life stuff, I think the majority of my energy will be moving over there for now. So I'm not abandoning you, just changing my main focus... a lot.

You can find my shiny new blog at lazyjayn.com. Maybe I'll see you over there. Now, I have to go pack up my filthy, dirty clothes and catch a ferry.

Carnival and A Night Out

Random Sleeping Dog

I was naughty last night. I went out for dinner. I'm told the last night of carnival only comes around once a year, and decided to treat myself. I'll be working hard today to make up for it, srsly.

On the walk into town (all 6 blocks to the center) I caught a ride with some girls in a gas powered golf cart. I think they were about 8, with their dancing headdress balanced on the front seat between them. What can I say, I'm brave (or maybe stupid?).

Fresh Spinach Ravioli and a Glass Bottle of Coke. Yum

So I went back to the Italian restaurant, where they do *fresh* pasta. I was lured there by dreams of fresh spinach ravioli, and ZOMG, was it worth it. The food, oh wow... It was easily one of the best things I've *ever* put in my mouth--better than chocolate. No, really. I also ran into the *second* set of Americans I've found since getting to this island. Which makes, I think, 10 total since getting to Mexico.

Tiburon Balena on Land! (Whale Shark)

After dinner I went for a walk. I'm gonna be totally honest- I didn't make it to midnight. I was back at the hostel with ouchy feet and a (mostly) full camera by about 10:30. I heard either fireworks or an attack by heavy artillery between midnight and 12:30, so I think they wrapped up sometime around there- and probably headed off to church.

Between dinner and the end of the party, though, I wandered around, watching the different dance groups. If Carnival here is anything like elsewhere, they are competing dance schools (of some sort). I'm not so sure about the one made up of all "ladies", but in my life I've learned that men will do strange things for beer. Last night I caught three groups dancing (a group in really flashy, expensive looking costumes, one in more home-made looking costumes, and men in drag) but I know there were more, because there were also two or three groups of kids running around with costumes or parts of costumes.

Dancers Between Numbers

Dancing "Ladies"

I'm not sure how the general population manages to be up all night, then work all day. I've got even less idea how the dancers do it. They dance, from what I can tell, pretty much from early afternoon until late at night/ early morning each day. There may be different groups, but I'm pretty sure I saw some of the same people the last two nights. When they dance in front of businesses, the owners (seem to, could be wrong, not enough spanish to ask, remember) give them drinks and sometimes snacks. By drinks I mean coke, beer, and hard liquor.

At one point a case of beer was dropped in the middle of the (very ugly) ladies/men and disappeared in less than a minute. I'm kinda sad about that group, actually- I tried and tried to get a picture of one of them fixing his pantyhose or something, but the one shot I got didn't turn out. Drat that night-time photography...

Ghost Dancers in the Street

Oh well, I can try again next year.

Day 360- Easy Food, Mom Style

Yesterday was dinner at mom's. I made some tasty "not meat" meatballs, and ate it with sweet potato and asparagus. Sweet potatoes are (obviously) cheap. Asparagus not so much.

Of course, asparagus is (I'm told) pretty easy to grow. Heck, it grows wild out west. It can't be that tough. You just have to wait a couple years before getting to eat anything off the plants. Tastiness. If only I were a stick-around-3-or-4-years kinda girl.

Today I need to (actually really for reals) get some food together before heading back over to Drama City. Or else, you know, put my crock pot and rice cooker on dad's big shiny granite counter and cook my (cheap) food there. Actually, that sounds like *fun*. Probably not in a good way.

Yay, weekend?

Oh, yeah, I'll pull out all the receipts and add them up over the weekend, and toss out a (close-ish) number Monday. Since it's, you know, actually the last day.

Day 358- Squish!

Back to food!

After the stupor bowl there is, for some strange reason, a whole lot of snack food in mom's fridge. Not complaining, by the way, I really like a fridge full of hummus and salsa and stuff. I gives me ideas.

Crazy ideas, I admit, like ravioli stuffed with bean puree, but still, ideas.

So I'll probably be playing with a few of those later today or this week. Yesterday I just kinda snacked. Then there was dinner. Mom and the SD eat actual really for real meals. At the table and everything. With, like, protein, starch, and veggies.

It's very strange.

Anyway, last night they had leftover meatloaf (I had fake meatballs, you know, to kinda keep the theme), brown rice (which I *still* think tastes strange), and squish.

Er, sauted/ steamed (sliced) zucchini and yellow crook-neck squash. With about half a smallish onion and some diced garlic. Oh, and plenty of pepper. They're pepper people here. Other than being a little slimy (always a possibility with zucchini) it was pretty good. I added salt, though, I totally admit. Budget was not even close yesterday, of course. The fake meatballs were about a dollar all by themselves. But it was tasty.

Now I have to go try to get the dog to eat his breakfast and move some pictures of him off the camera and onto the internets.

Day 356- 9 Days To Go

Technically, though I've pretty much totally given up at this point. Yesterday is a great example of that, actually.

In an attempt to "keep the peace" it is better that I only use *my* cooking implements. Or I suppose it'd be better to say *not use hers*. Kinda tricky, since all mine are in the car and don't include basics like a knife, fork, or mixing bowl, but I can work around that.

Yesterday I reheated my veggies on the aluminum foil I brought them on, with some veggie meatballs scattered around them. I then put them on a (stylin' and oh so eco-friendly) paper plate and ate them with a snazzy plastic fork from a take-out place.

For dinner I said "fork this" and bought a bag of chips. Not healthy, but a heck of a lot easier than trying to use a kitchen without ever once actually *using* the kitchen. I think this week I may have to cook up a bunch of stuff at mom's that I can just reheat in the microwave here. This whole eating chips because I'm not comfortable in the kitchen thing is ridiculous, but I don't think *she* is going to turn into little Mary Sunshine anytime soon.

At least a batch of beans and one of rice is easy to do. I'll just toss them in my magic gallon ziplock baggies.

So, Mexico... Is it cheating to run away to a place where *a lot* of people eat for about a dollar a day? Time to go drink mimosas with Dad. There are good points and bad points with everything I guess.

Day 352- Quinoa with Caramelized Onions

First off, sorry for any spelling mistakes, I''m using someone else's computer. They only have IE which (horrors) doesn't seem to have an auto spell check feature...

Anyway...

Quinoa. It's some spiffy stuff with a weird name. You can sometimes find it in normal grocery stores, Mom found a *huge* bag of it (pre-rinsed) at Costco, and it's almost always at the healthy food store. It seems to come in red and "normal", with normal being much more affordable. Like 40 or 50 cents a pound from the bulk bins affordable. It's big in protein, easy to store, and a nice texture and flavor change from rice.

Basically, it's some kinda wonder food. Also, it's pretty easy to cook. Just like rice. Oh, but if you can't find pre-rinsed, make sure you rinse it *a lot*- it has... stuff... on the outside that tastes like soap and needs to be cleaned off before cooking. Unless you *like* eating soap, in which case, leave it on.

So the recipe...

Quinoa with Caramelized Onions

• 3/4C quinoa (dry, prepair according to package- it's about 4C cooked)
• 1 to 2 Cups onion, sliced
• 1T olive oil
• 1/4C white wine
• salt
• spices (optional)

Cook the quinoa according to directions (I think it's something like 2:1 water: grain but check to make sure). While the quinoa is cooking, put oil in a large frying pan (or a wok) and heat to meduim-ish. Add onions and some salt. Cook over medium or medium-low heat until the onions are just barely browned, translucent, and smell and taste sweet. Add white wine to deglaze the pan. Let the alcohol cook off for a minute or two, then mix in quinoa, spices, and additional salt to taste. Makes 4 *large* servings.

Depending on the price of onions and quinoa, this *should* work out to about 25 cents per serving. Mom serves it with baked chicken leg/ thigh she gets for 49 cents a pound, I think it'd be pretty good with beans and veggies or veggie fake-meat. Actually, with a bit more onion I'd probably just eat it as-is...

Day 350- Strange Kitchen Situation

I was hoping by now to be (somewhat) settled into my temporary housing deal. Alas, the Drama Llama dropped by, and I'll be a bit more mobile for the next couple weeks than I thought I would. I hate the Drama Llama.

So no cooking yesterday. I hit the local Food Lion for something non-cooking last night and... well, the options were thin. I ended up with cheese pizza, which I am regretting today, but it seemed (at the time) a slightly better choice than chips or Oreos.

If it happens again I'll just pick up a tomato, an avocado, and a loaf of bread (if I can find a decent one for less than $4...) and call it a meal.

Next on the j. Channel, When Drama Llama's Attack!

Day 349- Falafel Fail And Sweet Panko

Last night I was lazy and hungry. What's new, right? So I went into mom's pantry and dug out a can of chickpeas. I didn't feel like hummus, so decided on falafel.

I don't actually *have* a recipe for falafel, of course. That would make things too easy. I've *read* recipes for falafel. I've even made it from boxed mix before. For some reason, though, my totally homemade falafel always turns out weird.

This time I had access to mom's spice cabinet, though, so it totally should have turned out great, right?

Anyway, I chopped up the world's tiniest onion and tossed it in mom's blender with a can of rinsed chickpeas, random spices, some water, a dash of lime juice, and some salt. I blended it as long as I could be bothered (I suspect this whole thing works better in a food processor, but I couldn't be bothered to dig mom's out...) then dumped it into a bowl.

I think this is about where things started to go really wrong. Not that they were going really right before this, this is just where everything got really bad.

You see, I added panko. Not *my* panko, which is in my car. Mom's panko. Who's ingredients I didn't read before dumping into my (savoury) chickpea mix.

So I dumped it it, mixed it up, and formed patties (the only part that went *right*) and fried the little monsters until they were browned on both sides. Which is not the same thing as done, just browned. I tossed them in the microwave to try and finish the "cooking" process, but who knows how well that worked...

I decided then, that the best sauce possible for this (jerk and cajun and turkish seasoning seasoned) falafel would be barbecue sauce. Which turned out to be freakishly sweet.

So at first, I just thought the falafel was sweet because of the barbecue sauce. It's not like I use a lot of it, or really use all that much sugar, either. And pre-made foods are kinda missing from my diet (chips and the odd frozen pizza excluded), so when I say it tasted sweet, I mean to me. Most of the sugar nomming american public would probably find it bland.

So I thought the falafel was sweet because of the sauce. Then I tried some of the falafel *without* the sauce. It was *still* sweet. Why was the falafel sweet?

The panko. Mom's panko. It has two or three different types of sweetener in it. It's freaking breadcrumbs, people, does it really need sugar???!!!

Did everything have sugar in it last year, before I stopped buying stuff already made? Is this a processed food thing? WTF is sugar doing in breadcrumbs? Breadcrumbs are powdered bread, isn't that close enough to sugar already?

To make sure it wasn't just a panko thing, I checked the "normal" breadcrumbs in mom's cabinet, too. Three or four different types of sugar there, including the ever popular HFCS.

Dude, no wonder Americans are fat and diabetic- there's sugar in *everything*. And it makes it all taste weird!

I have *no problem* with sugar in places sugar should go. Sugar in coffee or tea, fine. Cookies, cake, muffins, cupcakes? Fine. Sugar in chocolate? Yes, please. Sugar in oatmeal, on cream of wheat, or in jelly? Totally fine.

But not in tomato sauce or breadcrumbs or mac and cheese or burritos. That's just crazy. Trust me when I say putting sweet stuff in savoury stuff is bad. I once put a quiche in a sweet pie crust. It was bad. Sweet panko in falafel? Bad.

Sorry, I seem to have gone a bit ranty there. The falafel was a strange, sweet Fail. I covered it with mustard and finished it.

Now, time to torture the dog. He stuck his cold, wet noes in my face at about 3am. Now I get to clean his ears and trim the fur on his feet. Doggie torture is *so much fun*!

Day 343- Pea Curry and Garlic Twists

Didn't eat beans yesterday. They ended up just not sounding good. So I finished off the frozen peas in a bit of an experiment.

You see, pea and *potato* curry is tasty. All creamy-ish and filling, and just a little spicy. So *pea* curry should be good too, right?

No, not so much, it turns out. without potatoes the sauce doesn't thicken in a creamy way. The curry is just hot, rather than flavorful. The peas get overwhelming, texturally. It's edible, and I ate it, but it's pretty much a failed experiment. I won't be trying pea and *sweet* potato curry anytime soon, either. It just *sounds* gross.

So after my curry fail I decided to go with something I know I can make. Garlic twists. After all, it's just pizza dough, cut into strips, twisted into ropes, and dredged through salt/ oil/ garlic/ ital seasoning. Who could mess that up, right?

Important point: roasted garlic is yummy, slightly sweet, kinda mild, very tasty. *burnt* garlic tastes gross, like ashes and bitter. Just not good. Diced garlic on *food* roasts while baking bread. Diced garlic *on the baking sheet* incinerates, making your house smell like burned garlic, and giving everything in the oven with it a mild odor, as well.

Which is mostly gone now, at least.

Vegetarian cooking- not just a skill- An Adventure! Or, you know, not...

Day 342- Lazy Weekend?

Yesterday I finished off the rest of the pasta, with another small batch of home-made sauce. Quick and easy, super lazy and cheap. Win across the board.

Then I started thinking about food I don't have. I have the biggest craving for open faced grilled "cheese" samiches piled high with avocado, onion, and tomato. Melty white cheese on crispy bread, crunchy onions, yummy bite of tomato and lime juice. squishy, fatty yum of avocado.

Seriously craving.

Of course, it's about an 8 dollar sandwich, so it's not happening.

Neither is pizza. Or vats of french onion soup. Or fried ravioli I don't have to make from scratch.

So I'll try to quiet my cravings another way. I've got pintos in the slow cooker, and four in the freezer. I'm thinking some bean tacos or even just bread might work, for now. I'll figure the rest out later.

I'd pretty much *kill* for chips, dip, and delivery pizza right about now, though.

Day 341- Cheap and Easy Pasta Sauce

I'm trying to empty my pantry (and trust me when I say it's getting really low), so creative meals are starting to come out. I'm missing some major parts of some recipes (I've got peas, but no potatoes for pea and potato curry), so I need to either figure out if I *really* need all the parts I think I do.

I'm pretty sure the curry'd be fine with no potatoes, after all, but fried rice might not work without rice...

Anyway, yesterday I was thinking about what I had, what I wanted to use up, and what I felt like actually cooking. I even made a list with ideas for the week. Picked up a bag of flour (can't go too long without one...) and got to work.

Actually, the bag of flour has nothing to do with pasta and sauce. I already *had* pasta, so it's not like I needed to make that. I just like having it in the kitchen.

The sauce came about because, well, I have 3/4ths of a bottle of red wine to use up. And a can of tomato paste. And italian seasoning. And the world's biggest onion (softball sized, honestly). So I decided red sauce would work with my super cheap pasta.

*this* sauce is:

• 1T oil
• 1/4 C chopped onion
• 2 cloves diced garlic
• 1C red wine
• shake or three of ital. seasoning
• 1T tomato paste, or more to taste
• water if needed
• salt to taste

Start at the top of this list, while the pasta cooks. You want to sweat and lightly brown the onions, and get the garlic just a little roasty. Then add the wine and seasoning, and stir. Cook off the booze. stir in the tomato paste and water if you need it, and simmer until the pasta's done. Toss the pasta in the sauce and serve. This *should* be enough for 8oz of pasta (4 servings...).

The most expensive ingredient is the wine, obviously. If you don't have any, or you don't drink, you can leave it out, just use extra water. A bit of balsamic vinegar could sub- not more than a tablespoon or so, about a small glug. If you have tomato sauce or whole tomatoes instead, use those, just cook it down a little more and leave out the water. It's about 28 cents before adding the wine, after the wine depends on how much the bottle cost.

Tasted ok, though. It would have been perfect with chewy, crispy bits of fried tofu, but you can't have everything, right?

Day 337- More Fried Rice

While I *really* need to hunt down a more flavorful soy sauce, fried rice seems to still be my go-to meal.

If I don't use too many different veggies, I can get them all peeled, chopped, and cooked while the rice is cooking away in its' little cooker. Yesterday, of course, I used about twice as many veggies as any sane person. You can use as few or as many as you want, even mushrooms if you'd like.

Yesterday I used:

• 1 small beet
• 1 medium sweet potato
• 4/5 of a large-ish onion
• 1 small turnip
• 1 large carrot
• ~8 oz green cabbage
• 2 cloves garlic
• 1C frozen green peas
• 1 (heaping) Tablespoon pickled ginger

so as you can, I'm sure, imagine it took a while to get everything chopped. You can reduce cooking time (a little) by nuking the (chopped) hard veggies while you chop the onion, cabbage, and garlic. I never bother, 'cause I'm silly, but I bet it would speed things up a lot. Nothing quite as texturally off-putting as biting into something yummy crispy/squishy and having it go crunch half way through. 

With 6 cups of cooked rice (about a pound raw), 2-ish T oil, a splash of vinegar and all the soy sauce you care to use the fried rice is about 2400 to 2800 calories. Guestimating from fitday, so I can't be exact. That's basically dinner for 4. Veggies could always add diced, saute'd tofu, egg eaters could add an egg (check elsewhere for how that works), and meat-eating types could add about a pound of 49 cent chicken "quarter" either in the rice or on the side. That drives the cost up a bit, of course.

The way I cooked it yesterday, it was about $2.25 for the veggies (ginger, garlic, and peas had the highest package cost), 50 cents for the rice (3lbs @ $1.49), and about another 30 cents for oil, vinegar, soy sauce, and whatnot.

So growing your own veggies this would * definitely* be an under $1 dish. Buying veggies, though (and going a bit crazy with using them...) it was $3.05. So my meal-sized serving cost was about $0.76, and side-dish sized serving cost (enough to fill half a plate) is about 38 cents. Using fewer veggies or leaving out the spendier ones would (obviously) drop the price a bit- enough that you could make up the rest of the day's calories with bread and beans and still stay under $1 per person per day. 

Is it just me, or does this whole cheap diet thing work better when there are more people to split the costs with?

Starting to think I should have braved the wilds of the back yard and planted some forking veggies last year....