So, my intestines have been unhappy lately. Not projectile-vomit/explosive diarrhea unhappy.
No, they've been "swell the abdomen up like a balloon" unhappy. So I started paying attention to what I eat before it happens.
It isn't onions (tho they do cause the odd problem). It isn't garlic, which is good--I think I'd die if I couldn't eat garlic anymore. It isn't processed cheese, or even cream cheese (one causes sticky teeth, the other a different set of problems...)
Nope, the thing that always seems to show up in the meal right before the hugely distended abdomen is wheat.
Which really sucks. I love wheat. Maybe I need to cut back for a while. Maybe I need to cut it out forever. I dunno. Right now it's mostly the sticky-out tummy that I'm noticing. Well, and the gas... But that doesn't mean there isn't more going on inside, too.
But... Without wheat (and other tasty gluten containing foods like seitan) what do I eat? My favorite cookies are made with wheat. And brownies and cake and bread. Totally bread.
Sure, maybe it's not gluten causing the problem (never get bloaty when I eat seitan, so...), but something about the wheat itself. Or maybe it's the combination with something else I'm cooking. I dunno.
I've been hoping it's something else for a while now. I don't want to give up the wonders of tasty baked goods. Sure, there are alternatives, but they almost all taste like crap. Oh, and they cost too much, too.
So what does it mean? It means I should be doing some kind of elimination diet. I should be cutting out everything with gluten in it, and seeing if the magic expando-stomach goes away. Then I should add foods back in until it comes back. More or less.
What will I really do? Probably keep nomming the bread, cake, cookies, and all that other fun stuff until something happens to make me. With my only noticeable problems being abdominal bloating and gas, it's just not worth it to cut back on things I love. 'Specially when it could just be an ongoing stomach bug. You know, like a parasite.
Now, if I end up seeing a doctor at some point and getting blood work that shows that I'm short on all the nutrients I know I'm eating, I'll change something. Until then, I'll just avoid tight shirts after stuffing my face with a pound of pasta. Which is probably a good idea anyway, huh?