Day 365- In Which I Avoid Doing Math

I will get those numbers, really, honest, eventually. I just don't have them yet. And to be honest, after my fun-fun weekend of airport hotel anti-debauchery, I'm really not in the mood to math.

So instead I'll share random stuff. Ok?

Right, so I have a deep love for Swedish Fish. They are tasty, they are chewy, they are gummy, they are even (gasp) veggie/ vegan. They are the most magicallist snack food ever. Bear thinks so too. I know because I brought the (open) bag of Fish into the computer room with me, and he would not stop sniffing. He *wubs* the way it smells. He would like to eat the whole entire bag.

I gave him *1* because a dog on a sugar high is bad for my work, and watched him. Swedish Fish take much investigating. First they have to be grabbed (because, of course, until the food is in your mouth it can *totally* still be taken away. Then they have to be dropped on the floor and sniffed. Then picked up and licked. Then they get dropped and looked at and sniffed again, before (I'm pretty sure) being swallowed whole. Unlike asparagus which takes *much* chewing.

I also swung by Dad's to pick up some of the stuff I unloaded Friday (how's that for careful use of gas...). As I was getting ready to leave with my stuff he stopped me and said maybe I'd like to send his GF a nice email thanking her for letting me stay last weekend. Because, you know, I haven't already run *waaay* over my limit for being nice to her for the year.

I may just have to get her email address from him before he rethinks that one.

Oh, and Bear says that while the first one took much investigating, any future Fish will take much Chewing and Licking of Teeth instead. And he would like to show me now, please.

Ok, off to figure out what "after budget" j.'s eat. I suspect it looks pretty much the same as during and before budget j. food...

Day 358- Bear

As promised, though they may be the last photos of Bear for a while- He dropped the camera in the sand after one of these and it's not focusing quite right...

Bear sniffing a post. These were actually handrails a couple years ago, on a ramp down to the beach. Now they are a great place to sniff.

Bear "close to" the water, thinking about dragging mom into the ocean.

A super cool nifty smelling shell temporarily distracted him from his pull. And from the water.

Then it was time to drag the mommy into the ocean. The water was nice and cold and he wanted to share. And swim deeper. (he actually *is* on a leash here, ya just can't see it)

About two seconds later the camera landed in the sand. Better sand then water, though, right?

Day 357- Back at Mom's and Take-Out

I'm back at Mom's for the week. Bear is thrilled. And by thrilled I mean he leaped at me for 5 solid minutes when I walked in the door, then played tuggy-bone with/at me for 20 minutes, then leaned against me looking sad, and is now on his dog bed, sighing and looking sad at me. So he's Bear.

Mom says I can use *any* of her kitchen tools. I might actually have to cook something! Yayz!

Yesterday I pretty much stayed in my little guest room. Other than when Dad and his GF went out (I assume for brunch?) I was stuck in the room. Well, ok, to be fair Dad did move her up to her room so I could get something to eat around 6, but by then I was thinking about going out, so the whole "juggle *her*" thing just wasn't working for me. I'm beginning to wonder how much of her psycho-bitch-ness is actually her and how much is Dad....

It's like he's rotating animals in a zoo.... I'm not fond of that analogy, but it rather fits.

Anyway, I was bad, went out, and got a huge, awesome falafel pita thing. I scarfed it down like no one's business. It was soooo yummy. Part of that might have been because I hadn't eaten all day, but I'm pretty sure most of it was just because it was awesome. Expensive and awesome.

So, I'm taking votes. Should I continue to play the "hide in the room like a good little criminal" game next weekend, should I just be out in the common areas pretending it's no big deal (and to me it really isn't), do I confront her about her behavior (tho I'd have to actually *see* her to do that), or do I cause nuclear-style melt-down of Dad's relationship? The last one would be the most fun (for me) but I'd need a new place to stay and probably get disinherited.

Alternately, I could just keep sharing all the bits and pieces of the whole lovely drama-filled play with everyone. I still have no idea why I'm so scary. If I *really* cared enough to break them up I'd have done it already.

Tomorrow, Food!

Day 354- Roasted Veggies

Roasted veggies are just about my favorite thing to eat. Somehow just about all of them get better when tossed with oil and salt and tossed in the oven for a while. Yesterday I got to go to the Vegetable Bin, so picked up some (super nummy) veggies- Brussels sprouts, small red potatoes, a huge beet, a head of garlic.

All that, plus a carrot or two and some onion ended up in the oven last night.

Just about all veggies can be roasted. You could probably even do cabbage, but I don't know why anyone would want to.... It's just a question of how long they take to cook, and any weird stuff you need to keep in mind.

Normally I just stick with root veggies. They all take about the same amount of time to roast (an hour or so @ 400*, at sea level), they are tasty, and they're (mostly) cheap. For argument's sake root veggies are (to me) any veggies that grow underground. Just chunk them to about 1"square pieces (give or take), shove them in a bowl, drizzle oil and salt over them, and mix. Unless you want everything to turn pink, beets should get chopped, mixed, and roasted alone- either in a different pan or off to one side of the main one.

Yesterday I had brussels sprouts too, though. They don't need to cook as long, so I tossed them on after the rest of the veggies had cooked for about 40 minutes. I also stirred the beets into the main mix at the same time. I usually flake the onion and use it to line my baking dish- potatoes stick, but onions mostly don't.

The roasted veggies freeze really well- just dump them in a baggie or container and freeze until you need them. I like to have a bag of them in my freezer so I can mix up a "fast" chowder-type soup. Just make a white sauce, toss the veggies in, and simmer until they're heated through. You can microwave them if you want to eat even faster.

White sauce:

• 1T oil (butter, margerine)
• 1T corn starch (flour, arrowroot?)
• "milk" (soy, oat, cow, goat, w/e)
• salt or other spices to taste

Put the fat in a pot, mix in the corn starch or flour. You can brown it a bit if you really want to, but you shouldn't need to. Add "milk" slowly, stirring or whisking the whole time. You should be able to add a whole bunch without the sauce getting too runny if you add it slow enough. Try not to let it get totally solid, though- that's a mess to fix. You probably want to spice it *after* you add the roast veggies (since they should be salted already...)

You can also use the (kinda spendy, I admit) white sauce as a base for any chowder you can think up, or to melt cheese into for mac and cheese or broccoli cheese soup. Just make sure you cook the starch and don't burn the "milk". Either one would taste kinda gross. Oh, and for you fancy cooking-types, yes, it's just a roux.

Other Food And Dog Stuff

I gave in to the call of the wild ramen yesterday. Just happened past the nissen brand ramen, and had to pick up a couple packets. 17 cents each, and all the msg my junkfood loving heart could desire. Not as tasty as when I doctor it, but still kinda nice every once in a while.

The dog has been kinda tortured lately. Mom has a different kind of chest harness that's supposed to limit pulling. We put it on Bear and he stood perfectly still for about 3 minutes before walking (picking his feet *way* up) over to the door. After we took it back off he sniffed after it for a good ten minutes. Also, I think I've finally got him to accept that *everyone* with their head at his level doesn't want to be licked to death. I actually *sat on the floor* for about 40 minutes and he only licked me twice. Of course, he tried to climb into my lap, but, well... baby steps?

I've got some pictures of Bear at the beach, I just have to get them of a (slightly malfunctioning) camera. Next week?

Day 353- Plans, Food, and Bafftime

I've got a plan. No man or can, tho, so no strange processed food concoctions. When (if?) my renewed passport ever makes it back from the snowed in north, I'm off to work, nom, and travel in Mexico. There will be many tacos de papas, oodles of frijoles, and probably even some veggies. I'll still put food with recipes and (guestimated) prices for cooking them up here, but will probably move most of my blogging to a shiny new blog.

I like shiny new stuff, I can't help it.

Food yesterday was fun. I magic'd up some open face sandwiches. 5 of them. They were on french bread, though, so it's not as much as it sounds like. I also made "chicken" burritos. The same stuff went in both (mostly) and I could probably eat some variation on this stuff every day.

So the sandwiches were:

• sliced, toasted french bread
• sliced tomato
• sliced avocado
• sliced (vegan) feta
• lime juice
• salt and pepper

They're more filling with hummus, but I couldn't find it (at the healthy food store...) so no hummus. I *was* going to put some onion on it too, but kept forgetting. It happens.

For the burritos, I used all that stuff (well, swap tortillas for bread...) and some roasted gardein 7 grain (vegan) chicken tenders. They taste (to me, who hasn't had chicken in.. um... 8? 7? years) like chicken tenders, but meat-eaters around me say they smell funny. It happens. So I baked the tenders (half the package, like 5) and sliced them and piled them into the tortillas, then tossed all the other stuff on top. Not super filling, but I didn't get dinner until after the symphony (don't ask...) and couldn't be bothered to make something bigger. Super tasty, though. Of course, that might just have been the avocado....

Now, Bafftime...

Bear the dog likes to get baths. A couple days ago I was in and out of Mom's house, and had to put Bear back in "lock-up"(he stays behind a baby gate in the bedroom area of Mom's place), and when I told him to go he hopped in the tub. He does it randomly. He also does it for bathtime.

He is *the* bath-lovin'est dog. So today was bath day at Mom's house. Bear jumped into the tub and sat down. He'd really *really* like it if Mom would fill the tub, give him bubbles, and let him play with tub toys, but I guess dog-spoiling only goes so far, even here. Instead he stands (or sits) while he gets sprayed down by the hand held shower head. He drinks the (warm) water that dribbles out of the faucet. He wags his tail, tilts his head, lolls his tongue, and smiles at everyone. In the bathtub. While being washed.

Well, he likes it right up until the bit where you try to wash his behind, or his tail. Or his head. Other than that, though, yes, please. He licked some of the soap off (she uses baby soap), and just kinda gooffed off with only one or two half-hearted escape attempts (his ears got wet). When it's all done, he gets dried off, and shakes. And shakes. And shakes.

The shake starts at his head (gotta make sure the ears get dry, and they take extra flopping...), inches into his body, and eventually works its way down to his butt and tail. After the rest of him has stopped shaking.

It's kinda like watching an earthquake. Nose, shoulders, torso, then as the head stops flopping the butt gets going- twice as fast and twice as long- before finishing at the tail. He probably shook 8 or 10 times, same way every time. Ears, body, butt, tail.

Then he escaped, rolled on his dog bed, and now smells like clean/dirty wet dog. Can't smell really clean, ya know- the bird hunting would go even more worse-er. Which would be bad, since he can't get close enough to do more than bark at them anyway.

Day 349- Falafel Fail And Sweet Panko

Last night I was lazy and hungry. What's new, right? So I went into mom's pantry and dug out a can of chickpeas. I didn't feel like hummus, so decided on falafel.

I don't actually *have* a recipe for falafel, of course. That would make things too easy. I've *read* recipes for falafel. I've even made it from boxed mix before. For some reason, though, my totally homemade falafel always turns out weird.

This time I had access to mom's spice cabinet, though, so it totally should have turned out great, right?

Anyway, I chopped up the world's tiniest onion and tossed it in mom's blender with a can of rinsed chickpeas, random spices, some water, a dash of lime juice, and some salt. I blended it as long as I could be bothered (I suspect this whole thing works better in a food processor, but I couldn't be bothered to dig mom's out...) then dumped it into a bowl.

I think this is about where things started to go really wrong. Not that they were going really right before this, this is just where everything got really bad.

You see, I added panko. Not *my* panko, which is in my car. Mom's panko. Who's ingredients I didn't read before dumping into my (savoury) chickpea mix.

So I dumped it it, mixed it up, and formed patties (the only part that went *right*) and fried the little monsters until they were browned on both sides. Which is not the same thing as done, just browned. I tossed them in the microwave to try and finish the "cooking" process, but who knows how well that worked...

I decided then, that the best sauce possible for this (jerk and cajun and turkish seasoning seasoned) falafel would be barbecue sauce. Which turned out to be freakishly sweet.

So at first, I just thought the falafel was sweet because of the barbecue sauce. It's not like I use a lot of it, or really use all that much sugar, either. And pre-made foods are kinda missing from my diet (chips and the odd frozen pizza excluded), so when I say it tasted sweet, I mean to me. Most of the sugar nomming american public would probably find it bland.

So I thought the falafel was sweet because of the sauce. Then I tried some of the falafel *without* the sauce. It was *still* sweet. Why was the falafel sweet?

The panko. Mom's panko. It has two or three different types of sweetener in it. It's freaking breadcrumbs, people, does it really need sugar???!!!

Did everything have sugar in it last year, before I stopped buying stuff already made? Is this a processed food thing? WTF is sugar doing in breadcrumbs? Breadcrumbs are powdered bread, isn't that close enough to sugar already?

To make sure it wasn't just a panko thing, I checked the "normal" breadcrumbs in mom's cabinet, too. Three or four different types of sugar there, including the ever popular HFCS.

Dude, no wonder Americans are fat and diabetic- there's sugar in *everything*. And it makes it all taste weird!

I have *no problem* with sugar in places sugar should go. Sugar in coffee or tea, fine. Cookies, cake, muffins, cupcakes? Fine. Sugar in chocolate? Yes, please. Sugar in oatmeal, on cream of wheat, or in jelly? Totally fine.

But not in tomato sauce or breadcrumbs or mac and cheese or burritos. That's just crazy. Trust me when I say putting sweet stuff in savoury stuff is bad. I once put a quiche in a sweet pie crust. It was bad. Sweet panko in falafel? Bad.

Sorry, I seem to have gone a bit ranty there. The falafel was a strange, sweet Fail. I covered it with mustard and finished it.

Now, time to torture the dog. He stuck his cold, wet noes in my face at about 3am. Now I get to clean his ears and trim the fur on his feet. Doggie torture is *so much fun*!

Day 348- The Inexhaustable Dog

Yesterday, in an attempt to actually get *something* done at the computer, I took Bear the dog for a walk.

Ok, so he took *me* for a walk, but close enough. We walked aaallll the way to the local greenway. Then we walked another mile or so. He started dragging his feet (and, you know, shivering in terror at the small barking dogs behind their fences...) and looking tired, thirsty, and sad about a mile and a half into this walk. So I turned him around (he didn't want to...) and made him walk back home.

Back past the big scary strange barking dogs (in their own yards), past the smelly posts and clumps of grass, and small piles of poo. Across a couple streets, down the path, and back to where we got on the greenway.

At which point I was pretty sure I was going to have to pick him up and carry him. The crazy, lunatic, lunging, leaping monster (who leaps and grabs at my arms like those police dog training videos, only without the teeth...) was a slow moving doggie of goo. His feets were dragging. He was staying even with me. He wasn't trying to drag me off the sidewalk to meet cars. Two and a half miles into a three mile walk he *finally* was too tired to misbehave.

er... mostly.

He still tried to dart randomly into the middle of the street a couple times. Next time I dog sit I'm totally bringing biljac. He behaves *a little* bit better when I have a food bribe.

Anyway, exhausted dog and I get back to the house. My legs were twitching. I am (right now) sore from head to toe. Walking Bear is a full body workout- hands and arms trying to keep him under control, back from trying to keep my balance when he tries to drag me off the trail, legs from both walking and bracing against his off-trail antics. Bear, of course, drinks a bit of water, takes his (20 minute) afternoon nap, and then wants to play "catch the squeeky bone".

So basically, my mission failed. Totally. Completely. *And* I got a squeeky rubber bone thrown at me, besides. As soon as my arms recover enough to try walking him again, I'll pack up a bag with some water and clip him to a halti instead of a harness (not that I think it'll work, but maybe?...). So next month sometime?

Oh, Mom left me (most of) a pan of baked ziti. She and the SD ate maybe 1/4 of it for dinner Thursday night. I ate the rest in about two meals. Today I have to cook.

Also, today I have a dog project that *should* get me some dog-free time. I'm going to de-ook his ooky ear. That's always good for at least 2 hours of him avoiding me totally. If I get desparate I'll just carry the bottle of ear cleaning solution around with me. It *might* work...

Day 347- Homemade Vegan Mayo And Bear

Finally, finally I am out of the ratshack-o'-doom. Of course, all my stuff (including about 4 grocery bags full of food) is in my car, but I never have to go back to that place, ever again. Never ever.

Before I left, though, I wanted to use up some stuff that wouldn't move well, and I wanted to try out a recipe.

See, my only attempt at vegan mayo before this had been a recipe I pulled off YouTube. It required an ingredient (guar gum) that's tough to find around here, and while it's available online I *really* don't need a pound of it.

So I went googling. I found about a dozen recipes, and they all made a lot of sense.

Mayo is an emulsion. As long as you've got the basics, and enough stuff to hold the two main ingredients together, you should have mayo. You can do the same thing with eggs and oil and... um mustard, and whatever else goes into "normal" mayo, but that's using raw eggs, and I'm kinda grossed out by even the idea. If you like raw eggs then go for it.

So, in traditional homemade mayo, most recipes call for a little mustard. Not because of flavor (though it *does* help) but because it helps to hold the emulsion. I'm sure I could dig up a reason for that, but I really can't be bothered today. The dog's not gonna let me type that long.

Basically, the mustard (and maybe a splash of vinegar) helps hold the little oil molecules suspended in the "other" ingredient. In this case, that's soy milk.

I wouldn't want to try this recipe with a hand whisk, it takes about 4 minutes on high with the stick blender, I can't imagine how long it would take totally by hand. I really do recommend the stick blender, too, 'cause if you use the right container you can just blend up your mayo and put in straight in the fridge.

Most amounts approx.

Vegan Mayo-

• 50ml Soy Milk (about 1/4 cup)
• dash salt
• splash vinegar
• 1/8tsp mustard (+/- I used spicy brown)
• Oil

Put everything *except* the oil in your mixing container. begin blending, and drizzle oil in slowly. As it firms up, stop adding oil, and blend until firm. Works best with a low-flavor oil, even slightly rancid oil will *not* work in this recipe, it'll taste foul. It works out to 1/2 to 1 cup of oil, give or take.

Mine held the emulsion just fine for two days, it might last up to a week. Made about a cup or a cup and a half. Recipe cost- less than $1. Almost deffinately doubles and triples easily. Don't know if it works with other milks, if you try one (even cow) let me know how it works out.

Ok, now the dog is looking at me extra sad-like, so I'm gonna throw the squeeky bone for him for a while. After all, he ate his *whole entire* breakfast, and only tried to crawl onto the couch with me twice last night. Or maybe I could talk him into a nap...

Day 310- Cookie Extravaganza!

So yesterday I went over to moms. It was cookie making day.

Now, Bear *loves* cookie making day, even though it's never happened quite like this before. Last time mom and my sister and I made cookies, my sister and I ended up trying to beat each other to death with the rolling pin and the cookie press. Mom was strangely dis-interested in re-enacting that yesterday, so we behaved (mostly) like civilized adults. With wine. And hummus.

Bear Zoomed around the house and yard, trying to bump us at just the right time to make a cookie (or stick of butter, or bag of sugar or flour, or... yeah) fly out of our hands and onto the floor, where he could eat it, um, I mean, clean it up for us.

Bear's helpful that way.

So we made Mexican wedding cookies, Oatmeal lace cookies (from Fannie Farmer, I think), and got about halfway through making rum balls. Luckily Mom had already made some, so we didn't have to wait.

The rum balls are really just like... chocolate, sugar, crushed vanilla wafers, and rum, I think, so are super easy to veganize (and super good with triple sec instead of rum, too...). The wedding cookies are easy to veganize, too, just swap the normal butter for EB or something. The lace cookies...

The cookbook they're from is, at the most recent, a late 1970's version. There's corn syrup, an egg, and half a pound of butter in them. I think I'll experiment with veganizing later.

So we took turns, mixing cookies, and sugaring the outside of cookies, and getting begged at by the dog. While munching roasted garlic hummus off tortilla chips. Well, and my sister had a bag of potato chips and a vat of sour cream. I somehow seem to have skipped that part.

Bear zoomed. Bear jumped. Bear attempted to eat my face, starting with my chin. Bear mouthed my hand, and my arm, and my neck... Bear was basically very very bad, all day long.

I eventually had to put him in time-out. You just look at him serious, and in a low, serious voice quietly say "go." He'll try just laying down, looking contrite right in front of you. that doesn't work, he'll be up zooming again in about ten seconds. So you do it again, pointing to the room with his "time-out" spot in it. And he'll go, looking like the most beaten, neglected, abused, starved, unloved dog ever. Tail-tucked, slinking and everything. And he'll lay on his bed and look sad at you.

But the second anyone comes to the door, he's off the bed, out in the main area, barking at the door and jumping. He's a very bad-mannered dog. Until my SD comes home. Then he's this perfect, behaved, all four feet on the ground kinda dog. very strange.

Photos when I get them. Mom has some great ones of him at the beach. No in-focus ones of the cookies, though. sry.

Day 290 (I think)- "Fast" Food and Pizza

Sounds bad, but this time it isn't.

I was rushing around yesterday. Between the stuff I needed to get done at home on my "off" day, and the stuff I had to do outside the house, I was kinda busy.

For breakfast, I had the leftover crust from Tuesday's pizza. That kinda rush.

So around 4:30, when I realised I had to be at mom's in an hour and a half, instead of mixing up something real I checked my e-mail. Then, at 5 to 5, I was like "whoa, I'm totally gonna be late" and mixed up oatmeal.

Now, I've had a bit of an on-again, off-again relationship with oatmeal. Sometime's we're best buds, sometime's I want to torch the fields it grows in and plow them with rock salt.

Yesterday marks a new beginning for us. I made the oatmeal taste good. Then I jumped in the car with my solid enough to eat with a fork oats, and took off to visit mom.

See, by then I was close to running late by Charleston rush hour standards. I had 50 minutes to get where I was going, and about 20 miles to go. I was counting on the hot-food hating forces in the universe to keep the lights all green for me.

It worked out about half way. At the first red light, I grabbed for my bowl of piping hot oatmeal, and the light switched straight to green. Same for the next three, maybe even four. I made it all the way to the highway with  a mostly full bowl of nice, cooling oatmeal.

Then I made a mistake. I turned onto another highway. People around here will know it, it's 526. It's one of those "ring" highways, designed to take travelers (kinda) around major metro areas. In Charleston it takes them from one bloated suburb to another, all day long, very slowly in both directions. Unlike roads heading into the city, there *is* no good direction to drive on 526.

Which I realised before the first exit, and got off the highway, so I could go around and take a different route to mom's.

This is where the laws of being late took over from the law of eating hot food while driving. I sat at that highway exit light for a good 4 minutes. I proceeded to catch just about every red light the rest of the way. I ended up about 10 minutes late. Yep, 1 hour to drive 20 miles, at mostly highway speeds...

But the oatmeal was good, and so was the concert. Mom, the SD, some of their friends from church, and I got to see the Vienna boy's choir. All holiday music, which isn't my favorite, and no-one's voice cracked, though it was close. Really beautiful, tho. And some of those boys are *tiny*.

When I got home I made pizza. I was starving. Used the basic dough (no real rise), stretched it out over the magic non-stick foil, and covered it with onions, garlic, and zucchini fried and hit with red wine, half a sliced tomato (from mom), and the last of the mozz. cheese. Super filling, and super tasty.

The perfect oatmeal-

• 1/2C oats
• 2T sugar
• 1tsp cinnamon
• dash salt
• 1tsp to 1T vanilla
• 1/2c apple juice
• 1/2c water

Stir, microwave 1.5 minutes. Stir. If eating with fork, cook another 1 to 1.5 minutes. Nom

Would have been better with something crunchy in it, but oh well.

Also, Bear would like everyone to know that he got sand in the camera when he and mom went to the beach. So there *are* photos, he's just not sure mom can get them off the camera. I might have to go do magic with my laptop and the memory card, but she might be able to get the stuff to work. We'll see.

Bear also wants everyone to know that he figured out how to steal the roll of toilet paper off the back of the toilet. It took some time, and a lot of ear-fur singeing brain work, but he learned that he *can* stand on the toilet seat, and reach the roll from there. He brought it to mom, to show her his amazing new skill. She is not amused.

OBD 22-Veggies!

Yesterday started off as a very bad day, nutritionally speaking, with soda and chips. It got better from there though, really.

I finished the chips at lunch (though I may go get more later...) since I didn't cook Sunday. After work I started the laundry, an then went to visit mom. Last week I'd asked if she could pick up a few things for me at the vegetable bin when she went. Now I have those veggies.

Good thing, too, 'cause I've got a cold, or maybe flu, too.

Important lesson- money is dirty and will make you sick.

While I was there Mom fed me some spaghetti and left over eggplant parm, sending me home with the rest of it. Which I ate when I got home. (hey, I was hungry...)

So now I have:

• 1/2 a cucumber (don't ask...)
• 1 pt of cherry toms
• 2lbs onions
• 1 large bunch turnip greens (turnips still attached)
• 1 smallish turban squash
• a couple pounds of beets...

I think there was something else, too, but can't remember what. 

So I think I'll make some kind of soup or veggie curry today. Lots of veggies and vitamins to help me get better fast. Just don't know what kind, yet.

Also, I think Bear is once again only-est dog. He looked very happy about it, too.

OBD 14- Moar Bread and Chai

Oh, and drama, too, kinda.

RM#1 decided, at midnight, that he *absolutely* had to move the couch out of the house, 'cause it's infested. And that he had to tell me all about it. And then he told me that he's getting the neighbor, and exterminator, in to spray the house. For bedbugs.

So, of course, I told him *again* that spraying isn't effective, that the only effective treatment for the house was tenting. "uh, well, how much would that cost, and I don't know if you guys have anywhere to stay."

All the landlord's responsibility. Carefully avoided pointing out that he could always call the health department and ask them. Actually, maybe I'll call and ask....

Otherwise, dull Sunday. Very very dull. Did no writing. Having video card issues still, want to pull the part and toss it out the window. Can't afford to replace it, will avoid window-out-tossing for now. Also hope to avoid full windows reinstall. Takes too long, and I hate having to go back through and get everything how I like it again. Pleh.

Food- Out of soda, so I've been sipping chai. I have a non-caffeine / non-tea chai. Gypsy Tea rooibos chai, I think. And one pack with the magic caffeine in it. All day no caffeine would be sad.

Then finished the bread rolls, thought about making the chili, decided against it, thought about making speedy sweet potato fries or maybe weird curry pancake thing, but decided against that too. Started making chai. Of course, I also napped from 8-11am, so I really didn't get my day started until late...

Hmm, that's really pathetic eating. I'd have sworn I ate something else, but I can't remember what... I am a bit nervous, tho- TD had a home visit yesterday, and mom hasn't let me know if Bear is back to being an only-ist dog, and I has an interview for a holiday job. So I'm a bit bouncy right now.

Did I mention that the super sweetened chai smelled and tasted like it'd make the world's most tastiest ever cookies? Really, it does.

Or maybe that was the glug of vanilla.....

Day 246- Random Food Day

Yesterday kinda somehow managed to go downhill, food-wise, after oatmeal.

I wasn't aware that it was possible for my food to go downhill from oatmeal, but it turns out it can. I was surprised.

Basically, I ate noodles with oil and soy sauce all day long. Not bad for the first bowl. By end of the second bowl I was beginning to wish I'd actually cooked some beans.

note- you know you're lazy when you can't quite bring yourself to put beans and water in a pot, turn the pot *on*, then ignore it for 4 to 8 hours. srsly.

Back on topic...

So around 10 or midnight (I'm not really sure, I lose track of time after it gets dark... funny, that...) I decided to go crazy and mix up a batch of rolls with (most of) the rest of my flour. The rolls turned out ok, other than the bit where I didn't roll them in anything, so they're really just twisted, boring bread.

The problem, I suspect, is the tomato paste I used to make sauce.

See, it's been in the fridge for a while now... And it may or may not have had a couple of areas with suspiciously pale areas. You know, that may or may not have been thinking about growing fur.

So if I drop dead and you never hear from me again, it's 'cause I poisoned myself with toxic tomato sauce. I nuked it though, so it *should* be ok... right? Tasted fine, anyway.

Only reason I'm concerned at all is that when I woke up, the first thing I did was chug a biiiig cup of water. Now it feels like there's one of those kids "toys" that expands in water in my intestines. Only instead of some cute slimy soft thing, this is an angry cat with twelve paws, and 7 claws on each of them.

Which, now that I think of it, could be because I just chugged water into a body holding about a pound of mostly dry bread... Which expands when it gets wet...

Oops...

In other news, mom read about my sad fridge o' unveggie-ness yesterday and decided to buy me veggies when she was doing her shopping. Dunno which veggies, though, 'cause they're at her house, and I'm... not. I *think* I've talked my sister into running them at least back to her place for me, but with my sister... who knows.

Also, the TD went on a home visit, and if he passes might have a forever home. Is it one of you? Dunno. But I'm sure the rescue people will find Bear another temporary pal if he loses this one.

Day 240- How *Not* to Cook Black Beans

So when you cook black beans at 7000 feet (about 2200 meters) above sea level, you can cook them on the stove or in a crockpot for pretty much ever. On high heat, they will *still* never cook. Hates. the only way to cook them there is in a pressure cooker.

Yesterday afternoon I rinsed out the crock pot-o-doom and added some beans. Rinsed, filled with water, made everything good. Got them started cooking (hi), and made some weird flour-thing to nom in the meantime.

The floury thing was good, btw- I made it spicy, fried it up, then mixed up catsup and vegan sour cream to make a tasty pink sauce. Nommed the heck out of it, then licked the plate (yum).

Then I did some work-type stuff. Then I fell asleep.

Note, throughout this all, the crockpot was still cooking away at Hi.

Oops.

So when I woke up at about 4am, I was rather concerned. I could *smell* the crispy, kinda smoky beans. Very not good.

So I added some water, and they were still ok, I think. But they didn't have long before they would have turned into charred crispy, no longer eat-able black bean crisp. Now they're kinda smoky and totally overcooked. But they aren't burnt, so I'm happy.

Yayz!

Bonus moderately-demonic Bear photo. With squEEEEEEEEEEEEkey bone. Him Hearts squeeks.

Day 238- Pasta Pile-o-hugeness

I *had* pasta... Yesterday I still had pasta. Then I had pasta, and the rest of the box went away. Into my tummy. Very very fast.

Which, thinking back on it now, was probably a mistake, because I felt like someone's stuffed holiday centerpiece for about 8 hours after eating it.

It was a pretty basic pasta. I used to make about the same pasta-thing when I ate (and could afford) cheese. It's twisty pasta, caramelized onions, oil, salt, today chipped garlic, and used to have (about half a pound of) grated mozzarella cheese. Mix it up, oniony goodness with pasta-y greasy goodness and nom.

Probably shouldn't do 2/3rds of a box for one person in one sitting, though. Or use a while onion if you live with other people or share your space at work. Super yummy, though.

In other news... I need some veggies. I think it's going to end up being the fried bean-deally this week, with maybe some sweet potato (to be purchased) mixed in. Partly because I can't afford the extra ingredients today, but mostly because putting together enchiladas takes waaay more time and effort than just rolling pasta and frying the buggers 'til they're done.

But right now my veggie collection is made of onions, 3 carrots, some apple juice, and half a tin of tomato paste. Not good at all. At this rate I'll be eating a meat-free standard American Diet by the end of the week. That would be total FAIL.

Bonus Cute Bear Pic-

That's me, hiding behind him. I think I might have been holding bread...

Day 236- Dinner with Mom and the SF

Yesterday was at least as long as I expected it to be, pleh. Also, some vaguely bad news. Let's start with that...

So I got weighed. I've been avoiding it, I didn't want to know how bad it'd gotten. I'm sure the week of no-food, and the couple weeks of not-much food after have quite a bit to do with it. The result is that I've only got about 5lbs to my absolute, gotta stop everything in life and do nothing but eat all day, every day weight. Not good.

Mainly not good because gaining weight by stuffing myself means that, even though at least some of what I lost was muscle, all of what I gain will be fat- not good for the body, and it really doesn't help anything else, either. So I'll be working on fixing that, doing the "healthy weight gaining" thing. Which is always fun, 'cause it takes months and requires exercise. Double Pleh.

On to family dinner.

I went over early, to help mom with the printer-thing, which I'm not supposed to tell you about. The SF was in a video clip on the news last week (I think) and so mom showed that to everyone. I'd add a link, but I don't have a permalink, and I vaguely fear that if I link you guys to Bear the dog's actually real daddy, you'll hunt him down and keep the dog. If you pick the right day, they might even just hand him over.

Mom fed us (her, sister, SF, me) roasted garlic Sabra brand hummus (yum). It's *really* tahini-y, which is super healthy, 'cause the stuff's got tons of calcium in it. Unfortunately, it still tastes like chalk to me, so...

So a vat of hummus with tortilla chips, then shrimp (for them) and tofu (for me, and mom had some too) with Tasty Bite Pad Thai Sauceover udon.

The pad thai sauce will not be showing up at moms house ever again, I suspect. It was... sweet. Like, someone dumped a vat of sugar in it sweet. Very strange. And then, mom's not really up on the whole "to cook tofu" thing, so it was soft and white, and rather than browning (in that yummy way it has) it was still soft and white on all sides. And pretty much lacking in flavor, as tofu tends to do if you don't play nice with it.

But the hummus was good!

I'm pretty sure next time I visit I'll be fixing the dvd/ cd-rom. Oodles of fun.

Meanwhile, Bear and the TD were super excited to have so many extra hands around. they both totally forgot any manners they may ever have possessed. Bear got his bad ear wiped out, then stared at me like I was evil and abusive for the rest of the night. The TD made an escape attempt, which was foiled when, instead of heading down the road, like a good escapee, he jumped in the open door of my car, and sat himself down in the driver's seat.

I love when dogs are easy to catch. Not sure how I'd do it without a car to open, though. It's totally my go-to dog catching method.

Ok, off to reheat the leftover pad thai and see if adding a pile of salt makes it better/ less sweet...

Day 235- Bear, the TD, and More Meatball Sub

This is Barkley, also known as the Temporary Dog. He's cute. He likes to get petted. He's 3, just like Bear the Super Ham. Not so hammy, though.

He's super sweet, pretty calm, and as long as you don't mind his (very determined) give-paw habit, a totally perfect quiet, strange golden. Srsly- I've never met such a young one that wasn't still crazy. The most laid back golden ever. As of today I think he's even still available.

And here, for the Bear lovers, is Bear the Dog. In the Bathtub. The bathroom door has to be kept shut, 'cause Bear, in goofy golden-type way, loves to be wet. He is the only dog I've ever met, though, that *lurves* bath time. So if the bathroom door is open (and the TP is out of reach, the trash can free of cotton swabs, and the shower curtain out of the way) he will climb in the tub and just *stay there* until you realize he wants a bath.

Like, you'd wander Mom's whole (admittedly small) house, looking for this 60lb dog that normally takes up more than his body size in space. And he just wouldn't be anywhere. You'd check the backyard ('cause he can let himself out through the screen door), and not find him. Then you'd check the bathroom, just in case, and he'd be sitting in the tub, waiting.

Bear's a strange dog. A strange, strange dog.

Food-wise, I am now through with all the "meatball" sub-stuff. Guess I'll have to do some "real" cooking again. Oh wells.

In the meantime, I have to turn my ratty jeans into ratty shorts, start the laundry, and get ready for a kinda busy j-day. Woot?

Day 208- Mom Thinks I'm Starving

At least I think she does.

I spent most of yesterday afternoon with Mom and some dogs. Bear, it turns out, is strictly against most post-neutering instructions-- keep dog quiet, keep dog calm, keep dog from roughhousing, etc. Poor foster dog has *no idea* what he's getting into, dog-bed surfing with Bear.

Anyway... When I left (still need to work on the project with the SD) Mom sent me off with:

• A couple (huge) zucchini,
• some yellow squash,
• a 3lb bag of onions,
• a big tomato,
• a plate of pasta and sauce, and
• a bag of sugar.

'Parently, not havening sugar in the house is a huge emergency. I'm the only one in the family that doesn't drink coffee, BTW. So while not having sugar is no big deal for me, it turns out it's some kinda major staple. So I guess I don't get to invent work-arounds anymore. Raisins worked out pretty well though. It does reduce (a little) the cost barrier to making muffins, though... Maybe next week.

I'm not quite sure what was *so bad* about eating pizza every day. It had a serving or three of beans, a couple servings of bread (or 4) and about three servings of veggies. And that was without red sauce. Sounds healthy to me!

So today, if I'm motivated, I will make sweet potato gnocchi, and freeze a bunch of it. If I'm not motivated, I'll slice and season and toss and fry zucchini. And if I'm *really* not motivated, well, then it's back to oatmeal land. Yum.

Day 200

Taking the day off blogging. Here's Bear to keep you company until tomorrow.

Day 176- The Swiftly Approaching Half-Way Point

So. The 14th of August is the half-way point. I *was* going to do semi-organized, totally off-budget cheat before then, but cash flow says no. Actually, cash flow says no to lots of things, but I'm sure I'll get over it. I'm a big girl (sometimes, kinda).

The important thing about the halfway point (other than the bit where I'm maybe closer to getting to eat easy food again) is that I'm counting it as almost a do-over. Obviously this first half of the year has been pretty much Fail. I've still had chips, pizza, and other random things that aren't any good for me. I've eaten very little of my preferred healthy-type junk food- like avocados. It feels like I've lived on junk food and bread, which probably isn't too far off.

So, for the second half of the year, I've got a slightly different plan of attack. I'm going to try that "meal planning" thing. To some extent, anyway. I want to try basing a week's food around one or two main ingredients that are more flexible, and making several things around them. So if I pick chickpeas and potatoes as my main items for the week, and have some other stuff in the pantry, I'd work with that. Add a veggie or two (and onions), and make fun stuff- like channa masala, falafel, hummus, and maybe pirogies or knishes. If I'm in a black bean kinda mood, I could pick up tomatoes, frozen corn, onion, a lime, and maybe an avocado for black bean salad, and black bean dip, and black bean burgers or soup.

Because my schedule is pretty flexible right now (in a good way, for once) I can shop and maybe cook on the first day of sales. So set my week to Wednesdays, or something. With both work *and* cooking to procrastinate on I just need to block Hulu and I'll either be the most productive person ever or I'll have a very clean house. Either way I should end up with food.

I *think* this should work. The cheat-o-rama will still happen, I just don't know when right now. I think after I get my first "big" payday. Well, and pay the car insurance, and rent, and...

The rest of the rules should stay the same. Depending on how the first couple weeks go (and they may start a bit later than the halfway point- that cash-flow thing again) I may boot the sanctioned cheating altogether. Money left over from planned purchases will roll over to later weeks, obviously, to cover more expensive purchases (like oil and sugar). Any food I've got at the start of the second half carries over. I can't think of anything I'm missing in this update.

Have I mentioned lately how much I want to be filthy stinking rich enough to have someone *else* be responsible for cooking, cleaning, and meal planning? If only rich housewives came in "male." I think the cook/ housekeeper thing is the only part of fabulous wealth that interests me. Though a personal masseuse would be nice.

On food- I ate after I got home from dog-sitting. Some oatmeal, a big batch of (slightly burnt) popcorn, and some very rubbery gluten steak-thingies. Will not be sharing the gluten recipe. It was foul.

Bear was happy to see his parents, who were maybe not so happy to see him. He then stared at me some more, and did his "I am so abused, how dare you leave me with her" routine. He does very good sad eyes. Doesn't even wag his tail. If only I could get him to do sad eyes for a camera. Instead he poses all "inquisitive, innocent" dog-like.

Comments, suggestions, ideas? Positive/ constructive preferred, obviously.