Friday, October 22, 2010

Day 249- Fried Rice and Oversharing

So.... Where to go with this.

Easy part first.

I went to H&L, I bought tofu (last huge pack), dark soy sauce, and a bag of panko. $9 even. So probably more than I should spend. Oh well. Too bad.

Came home, made fried rice. Used onion, carrot (x2), cabbage, garlic, ginger. Finished the light soy sauce. Rice was kinda beige. Added about 2T of the dark sauce. Rice became a nice deep rich brown color. With much more flavor. Full win.

Brought (hot, fresh, yummy) food back to my room, planning to work. My sister called, called her back, she gave the phone to a friend she was visiting. The night went down hill from there.

Now, this might not be all that obvious from what I write here, but I'm pretty seriously not a people person. Like I go shopping late at night to avoid them, or while they're all in church. Also, I am the size of a model, but look like the world's nerdiest skeleton. With thick glasses and either a (messy) bun or pony-tail. Just for reference.

So my sister hands the phone over. To her friend from when she was in high school, here in Charleston. Who proceeds to talk to me for the next three hours or so. Then, after my sister escapes and hangs up and runs away and I *finally* get off the phone, he calls back.

Now, during the previous phone conversation he tells me all about how he used to have some crush on me, but is now (he thinks) actually in love with my sister. Or something. And does he have a chance with her.

Note- he's drinking pretty much this entire time.

He called me, again, at about 1:30 in the morning. Yeah, really. To talk computers, or something. This conversation goes on. And on. And on.

My ideal phone conversation with anyone who is *not my mom* lasts about 1 minute. The minute it takes them to leave a message on my voicemail, and me to pick it up and then delete it. With mom conversations can last much longer. With, like, actual live communication.

By the time I got off the phone the first time I was already over my limit (for, oh, the year) by a good 2.5 hours.

I only just managed to get off the phone with him again. After several hours of computer stuff, and him dragging me, online, through several dozen areas of the internet that I have no real interest in. Fine, interests vary, great.

Last 2 hours of that conversation involved him wanting an explanation of why my sister doesn't want to date him.

Did I mention that I have the social skills of a backwards 2 year old who's late for her nap?

Also got to hear, at length, about how he had a crush on me from pretty much the first time he saw me until I moved out of the country.

refer now to the skeleton claim...


Ever tried explaining to a maudlin drunk that you aren't getting short with them because they're a bad person, but rather because they're *any* person, and you're overdosing on people-time? While ineptly trying to convince them that they aren't in a relationship because they *don't go where relationship minded people* go? While they go on and on about how much they used to crush on you?

If they ever try to find volunteers for a solo mission to mars, I'm *so* first in line. As long as I can turn off the phone.

Note- telling one sib you used to be interested in them, but are now interested in the other isn't going to work out well for you if you're hogging the phone, talking the ear off the old crush. Neither will believe you.

Also, WTF is with people... Don't be interested in people who are distant, stand-offish, or who don't date the same person for more than 3 months. I'm sure it works great in books, but in real life it's not gonna happen. Emotionally distant people are going to be distant, needy people will be needy, and then there's yelling and throwing stuff, and all sorts of bad behaviour.

Just don't do it. Srsly.


  1. I disagree with your whole last paragraph (before the one liner). I can't put it all together, but I just respectfully disagree.

    Though yeah, you did much better with that guy than I would've. I am sure I would have hung up after a few minutes and powered off my phone. I am pretty good at making exit excuses. People that 'invite' themselves to talk to a complete stranger when this stranger has no intention to or has no desire to talk to them absolutely irk me.

    What you made for dinner sounds like a good game plan. What brand of soy sauce did you end up buying?

  2. These are the most fun phone conversations EVER! I love witnessing drunken idiot behavior from someone in whom I have no investment and can therefore react however I'd like.

    Your sister totally owes you a beer, though.

  3. TJ- He's looking for a "serious" relationship with girls who want fun, temporary relationships and one night stands. I'm sure there are times when that turns into hearts and flowers and forever love.

    The soy sauce selection was a little thin this time. I went with the Dark variety from Pearl River Bridge. The Japanese stuff was too expensive, the Korean varieties were all made in the USA (not just bottled), and the other interesting ones were out of stock. This one is about halfway between sauce and paste. So *really* thick and dark. Should last a nice long time and flavor lots of yummy food.

    Kim- yeah, normally I just play with them, but my sister is bad at managing drunks, and by the time she left he'd already gone from happy, goofy drunk to angry drunk. Between then and when he called back he went from just angry to angry and sad. Angry, sad drunks to permanently life altering things.

    I swear, though... if you look for LTR's in pick up bars and with (undergrad or young) college students, you'll have problems. And for fork's sake, don't argue when someone tells you that most people in Charleston seem to meet people to date (seriously) at church or through *solid, employed, married* friends.

    Honestly, I'd rather watch drunk idiots at a bar- it's easier to get away when I've had enough. and I get to watch them desperately hit on *other people*.

  4. There's just no good way of deflecting a drunk who had a crush on you now is in love with your sister. I guess it's time to start screening those phone calls. And drunk idiots at the bar, video tape their behavior and play it back to them so they know how stupid they look. Also it's good for blackmail lol.

    The tofu, on the other hand, sounds like it could be very yummy in your upcoming meals. Nice and crispy ;)And with soy sauce, double yum.

  5. yeah... I may just block his number. feel kinda sorry for my sister now, tho- she had to listen to him go on and on for *years* about how my eyes sparkle, and my bony frame is so shiny, or whatever.

    But yeah, tofu. Yum. Thinking about making a biiig batch of tofu ricotta and trying either "cheese" gnocchi or home-made ravioli. With 6lbs I've got plenty to play with, at least.

  6. bad news here is that, since he called you back after your sister "escaped" it means that he now has your phone #.

  7. This is one of the funniest posts I've ever read.

    And I am SO with you on the phone thing.