Friday, November 12, 2010

OBD 11- Nachos!

I know I said chili, but it turns out, when j has cheese and chips (and/or onion, black beans, chili powder, black olives, etc...) j makes nachos. Shouldn't be a surprise to me by now, I remember going several months eating nothing but nachos with various toppings on them.

Nachos aren't that bad a choice, for the cheese eating. For me, though, yesterday? Not the best idea ever.

See, not only do I *not* have a grater, it turns out I *do* have something that makes nachos a bad idea.

I have a great gaping pair of holes on the inside of my cheek, just below/ behind the edge of my lip. I've been doing my best to ignore them for the last couple days, but it's getting more difficult. You see, the longer the open, swollen, solidly wet wound is there, the more it rubs against my teeth. And the more it rubs against my teeth, the more it catches on the tips or my rather sharp canines.

Which are kind of where the whole thing started anyway. See, it seems that my teeth are afraid of zombie apocalypse. I've tried explaining to them over and over again that zombies aren't interested in teeth, only brains. They're convinced, though, that if they build up a solid enough layer of scar tissue in my cheeks (and surrounding areas) they can keep the zombies out. They've been working in this direction since they made me bite the first large chunk out of my cheek back when I was a little, little j. Now they seem to think the bits back by the molars are good, and it's time to move closer to the lips.

Also, I have a set of eye teeth that would make a vampire drool with toothy envy.

A couple days ago, I was happily munching on whatever I was munching on, when my teeth attacked. Almost piercing all the way through, making most of a tube under the lining of my mouth, my evil sharp teeth sliced right next to my lip. Ouch, I thought, and gave it no more thought. I'm used the these random attacks by now.

Yeah, not so much. Close to a week later it *still* hurts, and I'm really not big on the idea of adding pain killer to open wounds, so it's just gonna keep hurting.

Which brings me back to nachos. (SURPRISE!)

Nachos start with tortilla chips, which are covered in salt. Then they have cheese, which has more salt, and onions, which are just yummy. Then they have spices, because nothing is good unless it has spices, right? So that's a great pile of ouch right there. But Nachos have a back up ouch. The chips have all sorts of nice sharp edges, just the right size and shape to poke into ouchy bited holes in my mouth. Oops.

Anyway. I'm still a huge believer in nachos. I'd eat them with Daiya if I could afford it. So here's my list of potential toppings, some of which I don't myself eat, but may have tried in the far distant past:

  • Cheese (duh)
  • black olives
  • black beans
  • diced onion
  • green chilis
  • garlic (diced or powdered)
  • chili
  • salsa
  • leftover roast chicken, duck, or lamb
  • leftover steak, chunked or sliced really thin
  • ground meat
  • TVP taco filling
  • sliced or ground, seasoned seitan
  • spices like cumin or chili powder
  • moar cheese
This next batch of things are best added after melting the cheese:
  • fresh chopped tomato
  • avocado or quacamole
  • lettuce
  • chopped cilantro
  • sour cream (or sour supreme)
  • anything else that doesn't heat well
Try not to use too much "protein", it gets tough to keep it on the chips. Also, make sure anything you add is as drained as possible before putting it on there- rinse and dry beans, reheat and degrease meat, maybe don't add a lot of salsa before nuking. Floppy chips are *really* tough to eat. 

Oh, yeah, and if you don't listen and pile your chips sky-high with stuff on each layer, try putting down "cheese", then fun stuff, the "cheese" again. It holds it all together better. Just be careful if you go more than one layer deep on chips- the next topped layer can stick to the ones below it, making the nachos a nightmare to pull apart. Oh, and they're really not cheap.



  1. When in doubt, use a spoon for the chips, then pile it high and deep my friend! Oh, I so miss a 7 layer dip salsa chip thing I had years ago. Had all the things that would make me forget that it would do a number on my gut but oh, how it was so delish. Beans, cheese, salsa, sour cream, guacamole, more cheese, more sour cream, and lots of spices. *kisses fingertips* yummy!

  2. Ooh, spoon. Hadn't thought of that.

  3. I had my pointy, pointy teeth ground down. Stops the inside mouth bitey a lot.

  4. My sister had hers ground down. She skipped the consultation part of getting braces, and wasn't expecting it.

    She *still* complains. Every. Single. Time. It's brought up...

    Plus, if I keep them it's easier to scare kids and strange adults. Tall, pale, pointy teeth- I must be either a junkie or a vampire. *everyone* leaves me alone. Super useful if "thinking time" looks like long walks by yourself late at night...

    Well, and the whole tooth-eating-zombie thing...

  5. OW! Teeth ground down sounds all sorts of painful.

  6. I know, right? Sometimes I'm very happy to have slightly crooked teeth.